I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
