No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
