Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drake has all the answers
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
