What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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