I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
