Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
