I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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