your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
