everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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