he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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