I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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