oh god the rape fog is back!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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