dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
