You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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