You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
