She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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