i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize