so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
