I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
