I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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