Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
