3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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