I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
