He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
