after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My dick has a subreddit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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