I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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