just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
