therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are we still banned from the library?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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