My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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