when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
