i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
