I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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