I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
