Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize