So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
