But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
