Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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