remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize