I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
