No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
