You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
