what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
