How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
