Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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