Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
