Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize