I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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