me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
