Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
