I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
