It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
