im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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