i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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