there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
