Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
