We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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