love makes seman taste better
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
