I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
