yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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