The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
