we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
