remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
