halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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