Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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