she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize