gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize