We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
